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Lysistrata · Aristophanes

Section 7

1ST WOMAN

Must I never use my wool then?

LYSISTRATA

If needs be.

2ND WOMAN

How unfortunate I am! O my poor flax! It's left at home unstript.

LYSISTRATA

So here's another That wishes to go home and strip her flax. Inside again!

2ND WOMAN

No, by the Goddess of Light, I'll be back as soon as I have flayed it properly.

LYSISTRATA

You'll not flay anything. For if you begin There'll not be one here but has a patch to be flayed.

3RD WOMAN

O holy Eilithyia, stay this birth Till I have left the precincts of the place!

LYSISTRATA

What nonsense is this?

3RD WOMAN

I'll drop it any minute.

LYSISTRATA

Yesterday you weren't with child.

3RD WOMAN

But I am today. O let me find a midwife, Lysistrata. O quickly!

LYSISTRATA

Now what story is this you tell? What is this hard lump here?

3RD WOMAN

It's a male child.

LYSISTRATA

By Aphrodite, it isn't. Your belly's hollow, And it has the feel of metal.... Well, I soon can see. You hussy, it's Athene's sacred helm, And you said you were with child.

3RD WOMAN

And so I am.

LYSISTRATA

Then why the helm?

3RD WOMAN

So if the throes should take me Still in these grounds I could use it like a dove As a laying-nest in which to drop the child.

LYSISTRATA

More pretexts! You can't hide your clear intent, And anyway why not wait till the tenth day Meditating a brazen name for your brass brat?

WOMAN

And I can't sleep a wink. My nerve is gone Since I saw that snake-sentinel of the shrine.

WOMAN

And all those dreadful owls with their weird hooting! Though I'm wearied out, I can't close an eye.

LYSISTRATA

You wicked women, cease from juggling lies. You want your men. But what of them as well? They toss as sleepless in the lonely night, I'm sure of it. Hold out awhile, hold out, But persevere a teeny-weeny longer. An oracle has promised Victory If we don't wrangle. Would you hear the words?

WOMEN

Yes, yes, what is it?

LYSISTRATA

Silence then, you chatterboxes. Here-- _Whenas the swallows flocking in one place from the hoopoes Deny themselves love's gambols any more, All woes shall then have ending and great Zeus the Thunderer Shall put above what was below before._

WOMEN

Will the men then always be kept under us?

LYSISTRATA _But if the swallows squabble among themselves and fly away Out of the temple, refusing to agree, Then The Most Wanton Birds in all the World They shall be named for ever. That's his decree._

WOMAN

It's obvious what it means.

LYSISTRATA

Now by all the gods We must let no agony deter from duty, Back to your quarters. For we are base indeed, My friends, if we betray the oracle.

_She goes out._

OLD MEN.

I'd like to remind you of a fable they used to employ, When I was a little boy: How once through fear of the marriage-bed a young man, Melanion by name, to the wilderness ran, And there on the hills he dwelt. For hares he wove a net Which with his dog he set-- Most likely he's there yet. For he never came back home, so great was the fear he felt. I loathe the sex as much as he, And therefore I no less shall be As chaste as was Melanion.

MAN

Grann'am, do you much mind men?

WOMAN

Onions you won't need, to cry.

MAN

From my foot you shan't escape.

WOMAN

What thick forests I espy.

MEN

So much Myronides' fierce beard And thundering black back were feared, That the foe fled when they were shown-- Brave he as Phormion.

WOMEN.

Well, I'll relate a rival fable just to show to you A different point of view: There was a rough-hewn fellow, Timon, with a face That glowered as through a thorn-bush in a wild, bleak place. He too decided on flight, This very Furies' son, All the world's ways to shun And hide from everyone, Spitting out curses on all knavish men to left and right. But though he reared this hate for men, He loved the women even then, And never thought them enemies.

WOMAN

O your jaw I'd like to break.

MAN

That I fear do you suppose?

WOMAN

Learn what kicks my legs can make.

MAN

Raise them up, and you'll expose--

WOMAN

Nay, you'll see there, I engage, All is well kept despite my age, And tended smooth enough to slip From any adversary's grip.

LYSISTRATA _appears_.

LYSISTRATA

Hollo there, hasten hither to me Skip fast along.

WOMAN

What is this? Why the noise?

LYSISTRATA

A man, a man! I spy a frenzied man! He carries Love upon him like a staff. O Lady of Cyprus, and Cythera, and Paphos, I beseech you, keep our minds and hands to the oath.

WOMAN

Where is he, whoever he is?

LYSISTRATA

By the Temple of Chloe.

WOMAN

Yes, now I see him, but who can he be?

LYSISTRATA

Look at him. Does anyone recognise his face?

MYRRHINE

I do. He is my husband, Cinesias.

LYSISTRATA

You know how to work. Play with him, lead him on, Seduce him to the cozening-point--kiss him, kiss him, Then slip your mouth aside just as he's sure of it, Ungirdle every caress his mouth feels at Save that the oath upon the bowl has locked.

MYRRHINE

You can rely on me.

LYSISTRATA

I'll stay here to help In working up his ardor to its height Of vain magnificence.... The rest to their quarters.

_Enter_ CINESIAS.

Who is this that stands within our lines?

CINESIAS

I.

LYSISTRATA

A man?

CINESIAS

Too much a man!

LYSISTRATA

Then be off at once.

CINESIAS

Who are you that thus eject me?

LYSISTRATA

Guard for the day.

CINESIAS

By all the gods, then call Myrrhine hither.

LYSISTRATA

So, call Myrrhine hither! Who are you?

CINESIAS

I am her husband Cinesias, son of Anthros.

LYSISTRATA

Welcome, dear friend! That glorious name of yours Is quite familiar in our ranks. Your wife Continually has it in her mouth. She cannot touch an apple or an egg But she must say, "This to Cinesias!"

CINESIAS

O is that true?

LYSISTRATA

By Aphrodite, it is. If the conversation strikes on men, your wife Cuts in with, "All are boobies by Cinesias."

CINESIAS

Then call her here.

LYSISTRATA

And what am I to get?

CINESIAS

This, if you want it.... See, what I have here. But not to take away.

LYSISTRATA

Then I'll call her.

CINESIAS

Be quick, be quick. All grace is wiped from life Since she went away. O sad, sad am I When there I enter on that loneliness, And wine is unvintaged of the sun's flavour. And food is tasteless. But I've put on weight.

MYRRHINE (_above_)

I love him O so much! but he won't have it. Don't call me down to him.

CINESIAS

Sweet little Myrrhine! What do you mean? Come here.

MYRRHINE

O no I won't. Why are you calling me? You don't want me.

CINESIAS

Not want you! with this week-old strength of love.

MYRRHINE

Farewell.

CINESIAS

Don't go, please don't go, Myrrhine. At least you'll hear our child. Call your mother, lad.

CHILD

Mummy ... mummy ... mummy!

CINESIAS

There now, don't you feel pity for the child? He's not been fed or washed now for six days.

MYRRHINE

I certainly pity him with so heartless a father.

CINESIAS

Come down, my sweetest, come for the child's sake.

MYRRHINE

A trying life it is to be a mother! I suppose I'd better go. _She comes down._

CINESIAS

How much younger she looks, How fresher and how prettier! Myrrhine, Lift up your lovely face, your disdainful face; And your ankle ... let your scorn step out its worst; It only rubs me to more ardor here.

MYRRHINE (_playing with the child_)

You're as innocent as he's iniquitous. Let me kiss you, honey-petting, mother's darling.

CINESIAS

How wrong to follow other women's counsel And let loose all these throbbing voids in yourself As well as in me. Don't you go throb-throb?

MYRRHINE

Take away your hands.

CINESIAS

Everything in the house Is being ruined.

MYRRHINE

I don't care at all.

CINESIAS

The roosters are picking all your web to rags. Do you mind that?

MYRRHINE

Not I.

CINESIAS

What time we've wasted We might have drenched with Paphian laughter, flung On Aphrodite's Mysteries. O come here.

MYRRHINE

Not till a treaty finishes the war.

CINESIAS

If you must have it, then we'll get it done.

MYRRHINE

Do it and I'll come home. Till then I am bound.

CINESIAS

Well, can't your oath perhaps be got around?

MYRRHINE

No ... no ... still I'll not say that I don't love you.

CINESIAS

You love me! Then dear girl, let me also love you.

MYRRHINE

You must be joking. The boy's looking on.

CINESIAS

Here, Manes, take the child home!... There, he's gone. There's nothing in the way now. Come to the point.

MYRRHINE

Here in the open! In plain sight?

CINESIAS

In Pan's cave. A splendid place.

MYRRHINE

Where shall I dress my hair again Before returning to the citadel?

CINESIAS

You can easily primp yourself in the Clepsydra.

MYRRHINE

But how can I break my oath?

CINESIAS

Leave that to me, I'll take all risk.

MYRRHINE

Well, I'll make you comfortable.

CINESIAS

Don't worry. I'd as soon lie on the grass.

MYRRHINE

No, by Apollo, in spite of all your faults I won't have you lying on the nasty earth. (_From here MYRRHINE keeps on going off to fetch things._)

CINESIAS

Ah, how she loves me.

MYRRHINE

Rest there on the bench, While I arrange my clothes. O what a nuisance, I must find some cushions first.

CINESIAS

Why some cushions? Please don't get them!

MYRRHINE

What? The plain, hard wood? Never, by Artemis! That would be too vulgar.

CINESIAS

Open your arms!

MYRRHINE

No. Wait a second.

CINESIAS

O.... Then hurry back again.

MYRRHINE

Here the cushions are. Lie down while I--O dear! But what a shame, You need more pillows.

CINESIAS

I don't want them, dear.

MYRRHINE

But I do.

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