MYRRHINE
That's the best advice. Ah, there comes Lampito.
_Enter_ LAMPITO.
LYSISTRATA
Welcome Lampito! Dear Spartan girl with a delightful face, Washed with the rosy spring, how fresh you look In the easy stride of your sleek slenderness, Why you could strangle a bull!
LAMPITO
I think I could. It's frae exercise and kicking high behint.
[Footnote: The translator has put the speech of the Spartan characters in Scotch dialect which is related to English about as was the Spartan dialect to the speech of Athens. The Spartans, in their character, anticipated the shrewd, canny, uncouth Scotch highlander of modern times.]
LYSISTRATA
What lovely breasts to own!
LAMPITO
Oo ... your fingers Assess them, ye tickler, wi' such tender chucks I feel as if I were an altar-victim.
LYSISTRATA
Who is this youngster?
LAMPITO
A Boeotian lady.
LYSISTRATA
There never was much undergrowth in Boeotia, Such a smooth place, and this girl takes after it.
CALONICE
Yes, I never saw a skin so primly kept.
LYSISTRATA
This girl?
LAMPITO
A sonsie open-looking jinker! She's a Corinthian.
LYSISTRATA
Yes, isn't she Very open, in some ways particularly.
LAMPITO
But who's garred this Council o' Women to meet here?
LYSISTRATA
I have.
LAMPITO
Propound then what you want o' us.
MYRRHINE
What is the amazing news you have to tell?
LYSISTRATA
I'll tell you, but first answer one small question.
MYRRHINE
As you like.
LYSISTRATA
Are you not sad your children's fathers Go endlessly off soldiering afar In this plodding war? I am willing to wager There's not one here whose husband is at home.
CALONICE
Mine's been in Thrace, keeping an eye on Eucrates For five months past.
MYRRHINE
And mine left me for Pylos Seven months ago at least.
LAMPITO
And as for mine No sooner has he slipped out frae the line He straps his shield and he's snickt off again.
LYSISTRATA
And not the slightest glitter of a lover! And since the Milesians betrayed us, I've not seen The image of a single upright man To be a marble consolation to us. Now will you help me, if I find a means To stamp the war out.
MYRRHINE
By the two Goddesses, Yes! I will though I've to pawn this very dress And drink the barter-money the same day.
CALONICE
And I too though I'm split up like a turbot And half is hackt off as the price of peace.
LAMPITO
And I too! Why, to get a peep at the shy thing I'd clamber up to the tip-top o' Taygetus.
LYSISTRATA
Then I'll expose my mighty mystery. O women, if we would compel the men To bow to Peace, we must refrain--
MYRRHINE
From what? O tell us!
LYSISTRATA
Will you truly do it then?
MYRRHINE
We will, we will, if we must die for it.
LYSISTRATA
We must refrain from every depth of love.... Why do you turn your backs? Where are you going? Why do you bite your lips and shake your heads? Why are your faces blanched? Why do you weep? Will you or won't you, or what do you mean?
MYRRHINE
No, I won't do it. Let the war proceed.
CALONICE
No, I won't do it. Let the war proceed.
LYSISTRATA
You too, dear turbot, you that said just now You didn't mind being split right up in the least?
CALONICE
Anything else? O bid me walk in fire But do not rob us of that darling joy. What else is like it, dearest Lysistrata?
LYSISTRATA
And you?
MYRRHINE
O please give me the fire instead.
LYSISTRATA
Lewd to the least drop in the tiniest vein, Our sex is fitly food for Tragic Poets, Our whole life's but a pile of kisses and babies. But, hardy Spartan, if you join with me All may be righted yet. O help me, help me.
LAMPITO
It's a sair, sair thing to ask of us, by the Twa, A lass to sleep her lane and never fill Love's lack except wi' makeshifts.... But let it be. Peace maun be thought of first.
LYSISTRATA
My friend, my friend! The only one amid this herd of weaklings.
CALONICE
But if--which heaven forbid--we should refrain As you would have us, how is Peace induced?
LYSISTRATA
By the two Goddesses, now can't you see All we have to do is idly sit indoors With smooth roses powdered on our cheeks, Our bodies burning naked through the folds Of shining Amorgos' silk, and meet the men With our dear Venus-plats plucked trim and neat. Their stirring love will rise up furiously, They'll beg our arms to open. That's our time! We'll disregard their knocking, beat them off-- And they will soon be rabid for a Peace. I'm sure of it.
LAMPITO
Just as Menelaus, they say, Seeing the bosom of his naked Helen Flang down the sword.
CALONICE
But we'll be tearful fools If our husbands take us at our word and leave us.
LYSISTRATA
There's only left then, in Pherecrates' phrase, _To flay a skinned dog_--flay more our flayed desires.
CALONICE
Bah, proverbs will never warm a celibate. But what avail will your scheme be if the men Drag us for all our kicking on to the couch?
LYSISTRATA
Cling to the doorposts.
CALONICE
But if they should force us?
LYSISTRATA
Yield then, but with a sluggish, cold indifference. There is no joy to them in sullen mating. Besides we have other ways to madden them; They cannot stand up long, and they've no delight Unless we fit their aim with merry succour.
CALONICE
Well if you must have it so, we'll all agree.
LAMPITO
For us I ha' no doubt. We can persuade Our men to strike a fair an' decent Peace, But how will ye pitch out the battle-frenzy O' the Athenian populace?
LYSISTRATA
I promise you We'll wither up that curse.
LAMPITO
I don't believe it. Not while they own ane trireme oared an' rigged, Or a' those stacks an' stacks an' stacks O' siller.
LYSISTRATA
I've thought the whole thing out till there's no flaw. We shall surprise the Acropolis today: That is the duty set the older dames. While we sit here talking, they are to go And under pretence of sacrificing, seize it.
LAMPITO
Certie, that's fine; all's working for the best.
LYSISTRATA
Now quickly, Lampito, let us tie ourselves To this high purpose as tightly as the hemp of words Can knot together.
LAMPITO
Set out the terms in detail And we'll a' swear to them.
LYSISTRATA
Of course.... Well then Where is our Scythianess? Why are you staring? First lay the shield, boss downward, on the floor And bring the victim's inwards.
CAILONICE
But, Lysistrata, What is this oath that we're to swear?
LYSISTRATA
What oath! In Aeschylus they take a slaughtered sheep And swear upon a buckler. Why not we?
CALONICE
O Lysistrata, Peace sworn on a buckler!
LYSISTRATA
What oath would suit us then?
CALONICE
Something burden bearing Would be our best insignia.... A white horse! Let's swear upon its entrails.
LYSISTRATA
A horse indeed!
CALONICE
Then what will symbolise us?
LYSISTRATA
This, as I tell you-- First set a great dark bowl upon the ground And disembowel a skin of Thasian wine, Then swear that we'll not add a drop of water.
LAMPITO Ah, what aith could clink pleasanter than that!
LYSISTRATA Bring me a bowl then and a skin of wine.
CALONICE My dears, see what a splendid bowl it is; I'd not say No if asked to sip it off.
LYSISTRATA Put down the bowl. Lay hands, all, on the victim. Skiey Queen who givest the last word in arguments, And thee, O Bowl, dear comrade, we beseech: Accept our oblation and be propitious to us.
CALONICE What healthy blood, la, how it gushes out!
LAMPITO An' what a leesome fragrance through the air.
LYSISTRATA Now, dears, if you will let me, I'll speak first.
CALONICE Only if you draw the lot, by Aphrodite!
LYSISTRATA SO, grasp the brim, you, Lampito, and all. You, Calonice, repeat for the rest Each word I say. Then you must all take oath And pledge your arms to the same stern conditions--
LYSISTRATA To husband or lover I'll not open arms
CALONICE
_To husband or lover I'll not open arms_
LYSISTRATA
Though love and denial may enlarge his charms.
CALONICE
_Though love and denial may enlarge his charms._ O, O, my knees are failing me, Lysistrata!
LYSISTRATA
But still at home, ignoring him, I'll stay,
CALONICE
_But still at home, ignoring him, I'll stay,_
LYSISTRATA
Beautiful, clad in saffron silks all day.
CALONICE
_Beautiful, clad in saffron silks all day._
LYSISTRATA
If then he seizes me by dint of force,
CALONICE
_If then he seizes me by dint of force,_
LYSISTRATA
I'll give him reason for a long remorse.
CALONICE
_I'll give him reason for a long remorse._
LYSISTRATA
I'll never lie and stare up at the ceiling,
CALONICE
_I'll never lie and stare up at the ceiling,_
LYSISTRATA
Nor like a lion on all fours go kneeling.
CALONICE
_Nor like a lion on all fours go kneeling._
LYSISTRATA
If I keep faith, then bounteous cups be mine.
CALONICE
_If I keep faith, then bounteous cups be mine._
LYSISTRATA
If not, to nauseous water change this wine.
CALONICE _If not, to nauseous water change this wine._
LYSISTRATA
Do you all swear to this?
MYRRHINE
We do, we do.
LYSISTRATA
Then I shall immolate the victim thus. _She drinks._
CALONICE
Here now, share fair, haven't we made a pact? Let's all quaff down that friendship in our turn.
LAMPITO
Hark, what caterwauling hubbub's that?
LYSISTRATA
As I told you, The women have appropriated the citadel. So, Lampito, dash off to your own land And raise the rebels there. These will serve as hostages, While we ourselves take our places in the ranks And drive the bolts right home.