Did he want it? Until this moment Bart had not identified the worst of his pain and defeat--to travel as a passenger, a supercargo, when he had once been part of the _Swiftwing_. Literally he ached to be back with it again. "I do, _rieko mori_."
"Very well," Vorongil rapped, "see that you turn out next watch!" He spun round and walked out. His tone was no longer gently indulgent, but sharp and distant. Bart, at first surprised, suddenly understood.
Not now a prisoner, a passenger, a guest on the _Swiftwing_. He was part of the crew again--and Vorongil was his captain.
The Lhari crew were oddly constrained at first. But Ringg was the same as always, and before long they were almost on the old terms. With every watch, it seemed, he was building a bridge between man and Lhari. They accepted him.
But for what? Something might come, in the far future, of his acceptance, but he wouldn't get the benefit of it. This would be his only voyage; after this he'd be chained again, crawling from planet to planet of a single sun. And as warp-shift followed warp-shift, the _Swiftwing_ retracing the path of her outward cruise star by star, Bart said farewell to them.
One day, at last, he stood at the viewport, watching Procyon Alpha nearing. A year ago, frightened, terribly alone, still unsteady on his new Lhari muscles and terrified by the monsters that were his shipmates, he had watched these planets spinning away. Poor old Rugel, poor old Baldy!
Behind him, Meta came into the lounge.
"Bart--"
He turned to face her. "It won't be much longer, Meta. Tomorrow I'll find out what the Federation is going to do to me. _Conspiracy unlawfully to board_--and all the rest of it. Even if I don't go to a prison planet, I'll spend the rest of my life chained down to Vega."
"It doesn't have to be that way."
"What other choice is there?" he demanded.
"You're half Mentorian," she said, raising her eager face. "Oh, Bart, you love it so, you know you can't bear to give it up. Stay with us--please stay!"
Before answering, he looked out the viewport a last time. The clouds of cosmic dust swirled and foamed around the familiar jewels of his own sky. Blue, beloved Vega, burning in the heart of the Lyre--_home--when would he go home? He had no home now._ Yet his father had left him Vega Interplanet, as well as Eight Colors and a quest to the stars.
He searched for the topaz of Sol, where he had learned astrogation; Procyon, where he had become a Lhari; the ruby of Aldebaran (_hail and farewell, David Briscoe!_); the bloodstone of Antares, where he had learned fear and the shape of integrity. The colors, the unknowable colors of space. And others. Nameless stars where he and his Lhari shipmates had worked and played. And stars he had never seen and would never see, all the endless worlds beyond worlds and stars beyond stars....
He took a last, longing look at the colors of space, then turned his back on them, deliberately giving them up. He could not pay the price the Mentorians paid.
"No, Meta," he said huskily. "The Mentorian way is one way, but--I've had a taste of being one of the masters of space. It's more than most men ever have, maybe it's more than I deserve. But I can't settle for anything less. Not even if it means losing you."
He shut his eyes and stood, head bowed. When he looked up again, he was alone with the stars beyond the viewport, and the lounge was empty.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The low rainbow building of Eight Colors, near the spaceport of Procyon Alpha, had not changed; and when Bart went in, as he had done a year ago, it seemed that the same varnished girl was sitting before the same glass desk, neon-edged and brittle, with the same chrome-tinged hair and blue fingernails. She looked at Bart in his Lhari clothing, at Meta in her Mentorian robe and cloak, at Ringg, and her unruffled dignity did not turn a hair.
"May I help you?" she inquired, still not caring.
"I want to see Raynor One."
"On what business, please?"
"Tell him," said Bart, with immense satisfaction, "that his boss is here--Bart Steele--and wants to see him right away."
It had a sort of disrupting effect. She seemed to go blurred at the edges. After a minute, blinking carefully, she spoke into the vision-screen, and reported, numbly, "Go on up, Mr. Steele."
He wasn't expecting a welcome. He said so as the elevator rose. "After all, if I'd never come back, he'd doubtless have inherited the whole Eight Colors line, unencumbered. I don't expect he'll be happy to see me. But he's the only one I can turn to."
The elevator stopped, opened. They stepped out, and a man stepped nervously toward them. For a moment, expecting Raynor One, Bart was deceived; then as the man's face spread in a smile of welcome, he stopped in incredulous delight.
"Raynor Three!"
In overflowing gladness, Bart hugged him. It was like a meeting with the dead. He felt as if he had really come home. "But--but you remember me!" he exclaimed, backing away, in amazement.
Slowly, the man nodded. His eyes were grave. "Yes. I decided it wasn't worth it, Bart, to go on losing everything that meant anything to me. Even if it meant I had to give up the stars, never travel again except as a passenger, I couldn't go on being afraid to remember, never knowing the consequences or responsibilities of what I'd done." His sad smile was strangely beautiful. "The _Multiphase_ sailed without me. I've been here, hoping against hope that someday I'd know the rest."
Associations clicked into place in Bart's mind. The _Multiphase_. So Raynor Three was the Mentorian who had smuggled David Briscoe off the ship, and whose memories, wrung out by the Lhari captain of that ship, had touched off so many deaths. But he had paid for that--paid many times over. And now must he pay for this, too?
Raynor One strode toward them. "So it's really you. I thought it might be a trap, but Three wouldn't listen. Word came from Antares that Montano had been arrested and his ship confiscated for illegal landing on Lharillis. I thought you were probably dead."
"We sent a boy to do a man's job," Raynor Three said, "and he came back a man. But tell me--" He looked curiously at Ringg and Meta.
Bart introduced them, adding, "I came for help, really. I'm facing charges, and I'm afraid you are, too."
Raynor One said harshly, "A trap, after all, Three! He trapped you, and he's led the Lhari to you!"
"No," Raynor Three said, "or he wouldn't be walking around free and unguarded and with all his memories intact. Tell me about it, Bart." And when Bart had given a quick narration of the Lhari judgment, he nodded, slowly.
"That's all we ever wanted. Don't think you failed, Bart. The horrible part was only the way they were trying to keep it secret."
Ringg interrupted, "Do not judge the Lhari by them, Raynor Three," and Raynor Three said in good Lhari, "I don't, feathertop. Raynors have been working with Lhari since the days of Rhazon of Nedrus. But I wanted an open, official statement of Lhari policy--not secret murders by fanatics. I had confidence in the Lhari as a people, but not in individuals. What good did it do to know that the Lhari council in another galaxy would have condemned the murders and manhunts, when they were going on in this one, day after day?
"Don't you see, Bart?" he continued, "you didn't fail--not if we're going to have the publicity of a test case, publicly heard. That means the Lhari are prepared to admit, before our whole galaxy, that humans _can_ survive warp-drive without cold-sleep. That's all David Briscoe was trying to prove, or your father either--may they rest in peace. So, whatever happens, we've won."
"If you two idealists will give me a minute for cold realities," Raynor One said, "there's this. Among other things. Bart's not yet of legal age. You may not know this, Bart, but your father appointed me your legal guardian. When I turned you over to Three, I'm afraid, I assumed legal responsibility for all the consequences. I ought to have kept you under my own supervision."
Bart smiled at Raynor One's stern face. "I crossed two galaxies, and faced the Lhari High Council, without you to hold my hand. I can face the Trade Federation."
"Naturally I will be responsible for your defense," Raynor One said stiffly.
"But I don't need a defense," Bart said, turning to Raynor Three and meeting his eyes. "I'm going to tell the truth, and let it stand. Don't worry, I'll make sure they don't hold you responsible for my actions."
"Another thing. Some lunatic from Capella arrived here and all but accused me of having you murdered. Do you know a Tommy Kendron?"
"Do I _know_ him!" Bart interrupted with a joyful yell. "Tommy's _here_? Quick--where do I get in touch with him?"
An hour later they were all gathered at Raynor Three's country house. The talk went on far into the night. Tommy wanted to know everything, and both Raynors wanted to know every detail of Bart's year among the Lhari, while Meta and Ringg were both curious about how it had begun.
Bart tried to forget that the next day might bring trouble, even imprisonment. The Lhari Council had told him to talk as much as he liked about his voyage, and this might be his only chance. When he had finished, Tommy leaned forward and gripped Bart's hand tightly.